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who you know/ the in-crowd

Written on Six, twenty eleven;

“Who You Know”

Take your place in the centre of the room, if you want to be noticed by those that do not notice a thing, besides reflections off of shiny metal surfaces and the shimmer in a potential fuck.

If you so choose to be in the SCENE of things, create a name for yourself by selling your dignity for a moment of unprotected word vomit & plaster your body on each thirsty pair of occupied skinny jeans.

Don’t care about what Mommy says, because motherless and moral-less is the only way to go when you want the fame and rape of originality.

Tell yourself it’s worth it, and everyone will remember you.

Everyone will recall the respect you never demanded, the feeling of class you never projected, and the empty smiles you always received.

Welcome to the In-crowd. You’ll never feel more alone.

a decade already. music is like a hug.


i've gotten back into sewing.
i'm making a ton of t-shirts into cute summery side projects.
instead of leaving them half finished.. they are actually wearable.
the strange part.. is what inspires me
to finish them and puts me in total "focus mode"...
is listening to music from around 2000.
stuff i got into when my best friend from birth, Selena, and I
would ride around late at night in her car, listening to Deftones
with her furry speakers placed classically in the back seat;
against the back windshield, BUMPIN the midnight stars...
watching ourselves let the smoke drift out of our lips and
stare at everything as though it held significance.
which of course, now that i think back, it truly did.
In the day time, when we would drive around, there would be songs suchs as:
MAE-summertime.PARK-the ghost you are.
saves the day- rocks tonic juice magic.
actually all saves the day,
also any numerous alkaline trio songs.
All of which made us so entirely happy,
we felt compelled to honk at every human being on foot we passed by,
then laugh hysterically.

i think these songs just give me good vibrations,
memories tied in with feel good music-
of course will bring your spirits up and in turn, inspire.

i am glad to of had these memories <3 i need one of these:

life observation; orange juice

I walked downstairs to get some orange juice, and as i was drinking, from the carton no less,
i realized something. An instance, that has happened a total of 4 times in my life...
what is this deja vu occurrence i am referring to you might ask?

I am at the grocery store, and i stand in the aisle, in front of the juice, for many more moments that should ever seem necessary to be stood, to decide on a particular juice. I finally get fed up with myself and quickly grab Orange juice with pulp (or extra pulp). As i am briskly making my exit,
a man makes a comment like
"you like the pulp eh?"..
"pulp... good choice"....
"so you're a pulp kind of girl"
"sooo you decided to get the pulp *sleazy nodding smile*"

WHAT ARE YOU, THE FUCKING PULP POLICE? Is this commentary really imperative?

this has happened to me, four times, four separate grocery store visits.

i don't know where these men are hiding, and why they are waiting anxiously inspect which carton my hand reaches for, or what sort of fruit extract fetish they have.

but who knew? pulp. that's what's up.

there are so many different classifications of "being independent".
weather it is with your money, your heart, your mind, your social status...
it's always awkward when you realize someone is inviting you to something,
simply because they don't want to go at it alone. i always wonder what sorts of things people
actually enjoy doing alone vs. having company with them. you'd be surprised at the comparison.

for me personally, something i usually only like doing alone is thrifting.
especially in those really old christian owned thrift stores, there are the most compelling things,
forsaken memories and disheveled treasures.  vintage anything worn out of attentiveness.
i appreciate looking at those things by myself. i wonder if that is some sort of vice.
i would go to more garage sales, but i end up feeling kind of transparent when the owner sees me
looking at their things, watching me contemplate weather i want to take it home or not...  it's quite the vulnerable state.
consider me a peeping tom, me and my voyeurism in the less sexual fashion.

i don't usually like to go to live concerts alone, but on the edge of my seat, i've been waiting to see CoCoRosie.
I was definitely fully prepared to go to their show at the crofoot, all by my lonesome, just me in my strawberri dress+ 3 in platforms.
____________________________ dress of comfortCollapse )
someone i did know did end up meeting me there, which was fine.. i'm glad they got to experience such an unbelievable show.
although, they were told to stfu a few times while i was making audio recordings on my phone.
I probably would have enjoyed it much thoroughly, had i been alone. SO incredible.
A Grand piano, The Harp, synth, beatboxing, and 2 gorgeous ambiguous girls ...
(Sierra deliciously clad in red lingerie topped floral spandex 
and Bianca in some hispanic street gang attire, both garnished with UV lite cheeks)
the only thing that could have made it more perfectly pulse threatening would have been introducing the cello (i may have died)
Sierra doing her obscene russian dancing &opera vocals that took my breath away.
Bianca in charge of all childrens musical electronics, except for the kazoo, of course. <3 best.
they are so absolutely fan fucking tastic. nothing you see on the internet does them live justice.
9/10/09 was a truly magical evening.

MUST leave a video for my own selfish pleasurable viewing....

since we're on the subject of impressive:


it can not be true.

Dorothy is gone.
my heart is so crushed.  bea... BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

i will leave one of my favorite scenes to cheer me up.

life & i, have a love hate relationship.

but life will always be my boo.